"I don't know how to say it." She mused a moment over both her feelings and her inability to explain them. "Saying 'like she never existed' doesn't sound right. Saying 'like she's died' isn't right either, though."

Yes. She went there. He had to have been expecting that, right?

"Something that had been filled inside me, something I'd been looking forward to... No. Someone I was expecting to meet... she's not going to be there. Because of me and my decisions. But she's not hurt and she's happy, I know that. Just... I won't be able to see her."

A happy sad empty wanting feeling, Jaime.